The Corporate-to-Caveman Translator
Paste a long, boring corporate email. We translate it into the brutal, 3-word primitive truth.
AI model for this request
When you generate, credits are used—you'll see the result on the next page.
Your deck is a mess. Fix it tonight or don’t bother showing up.
I’d appreciate a tighter narrative in the deck before tomorrow—happy to pair on slides if helpful.
We should align stakeholders and revisit bandwidth next sprint.
Talk later. Too much now.
Sorry for double texting!!! Did u hate the movie or r u just busy???
No rush to reply—when you’re free, curious what you thought of the film.
Per my last email, as previously discussed…
Subtext: “I already answered this—please read what I sent.”
??? hello??? u still alive???
Hope your week’s going well—still up for coffee next week, or should I circle back later?
Hey!!! Loved your post!!! Can we hop on a call???
Your post on async standups resonated—open to a 15‑min swap of notes if useful.
Stop pinging me every hour!!!
I’ll post EOD updates in Slack; for urgent blockers, tag me and I’ll respond within the hour.
Ugh fine I’ll do it even though I’m drowning
Thanks for thinking of me—I can’t take this on this month; try [Name] who has bandwidth.
I’m out Monday. Don’t call me.
Hi [Name]—I’m resigning effective [date]. Thank you for the trust; I’ll document handoffs this week.
Just ask me anything lol I love tacos and Netflix
Weekend cook + long walks; ask me about the last city I got lost in on purpose.
Sorry sorry sorry my bad forgot again ugh
I’m sorry I missed the deadline. I own the slip and will send the file by 5pm today.
Pay me NOW. Third reminder!!!
Friendly reminder: invoice #1842 was due on the 1st—could you confirm payment timing?
I do everything here. Pay me more or I walk.
Based on scope growth and Q results, I’d like to discuss adjusting my compensation to reflect impact.
This product is SCAM. Refund me or I chargeback.
The item arrived damaged on [date]. Please issue a refund to the original payment method.
Can’t finish. Not my problem.
To hit quality, I need the draft by Thursday—can we shift launch to Monday or trim scope?
Hire me. I need job. I work hard.
I shipped [metric] at [Company] and want to bring that rigor to your [Role] team.
Paste a long, boring corporate email. We translate it into the brutal, 3-word primitive truth.
AI model for this request
When you generate, credits are used—you'll see the result on the next page.